New 5 de Mayo “illegal” Machete trailer at Aint It Cool News. Movie out September 3rd, 2010.

A few days ago I started a Five Star review of Los Abrazos Rotos. This is not that review. Again a John Cusack movie that surprises me, this time in a good way.

The movie is called “Hot Tub Time Machine”. There are no surprises here, just fun. A coworker said it best when she asked “is it just like making fun of old John Cusack movies?” In a sense, yes.

The fact is this movie borrows a lot from many 80s movies. There’s definitely references to Better Off Dead but it’s not just that. It’s the spirit of the eighties seen through today’s eyes. More than once, the characters are mortified that the worst thing that could happen to them is having to live the 80s again.

I have not seen a movie as consistently funny as this one since last year’s The Hangover, which is no easy feat.

“Yea but, five stars?” I rate movies based on what I would like to see again and what I want my friends to experience or talk to them about. When I got out of the theatre I immediately called people to tell them that they had to spend money in this movie. It’s that funny.

I would honestly not mind a movie like this every year.

it’s like the white buffalo.

These are gorgeous designs for Quentin Tarantino movie posters. All 7 of his films have representations and the screenprints are in a limited edition of 200 each.

Get them here: Ibraheem Youssef

5. The Brothers Bloom

This movie was fun. Quirky and I keep thinking I should watch it again… Actually I’ll watch it again this weekend.

4. Avatar

I have seen the future of cinema, its called Avatar. Well played Mr. Cameron, well played indeed.

3. Up in the Air

Every man is an island, floating in mid air. Flights leave hourly, serviced by American Airlines.

2. Inglourious Basterds

In a time where everybody wastes their time with movie remakes, Quentin Tarantino remade World War Two.

1. (500) Days of Summer

This is not a love story.

If I had to describe this movie in one word, that word would be satisfying.
Luckily for me, nobody in their right mind would allow me to just review this movie in one word and I don’t intend to.

In true Tarantino fashion, the dialogue in this movie is as powerful as the imagery that follows in the later scenes. From the very first scene you are introduced to Colonel Hans Landa (played in a oscar-worthy performance by Christoph Waltz) you are stricken by fear. Fear of his quiet demeanor and unspeakable resolve. This sets the mood for what will come. You can’t predict what Landa is going to do next, but you also don’t know what to expect from the Americans.

The Americans, here being a band of Jews led by 1st Lieutenant Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt), that have been going through Europe with only one goal: Kill as many Nazi soldiers as possible. They have come to be known by the Nazis as “The Basterds”. This movie has no intention of sparing you from the blood splatter, demolition and suffering of the war that it creates, only that the way that it does it somehow doesn’t feel stale.

I am personally tired of World War II, I understand how important that war was but the way that it is still being used has really tired me. Tarantino did what should have been done years ago, he re-wrote history as he saw fit. He made some decisions about what he wanted the story to say and never even bothered to look at a history book. This is not to say that he was one sided at all. The Nazis are not stupid or careless, they are calculated and human. Lando shows how they are fully behind their main objective and how they have been able to get this far with the war. It is really unsettling but at the end it leaves you satisfied. It gave me the closure that countless other WWII movies have been unable to give me all these years.

Finally, I must say, knowing that ‘The Bear Jew’ is on my side is the only thing that lets me sleep at night.

Inglourious Basterds is available today on DVD and Blu-Ray.

I don’t particularly care for candy, and I definitely don’t like dressing up, but it’s really the unadulterated fact that this holiday exists just to sell useless stuff that nobody would buy otherwise that gets to me.

With that said, I am due for another screening of the Rocky Horror Picture Show and Denver is one of the cities that has never taken a break from showing it in a theater in the 35 years since it first graced them.

So instead of silly haunted houses, dumb costumes that are too risque for 12 year olds, and senseless distribution of Nestle products. I went to see RHPC at the Esquire theater, live ‘cast’ and props included. In the line they came around with lipstick and marked those who had never seen it with a red V (V for Virgin). More than half the audience were RHPS Virgins.

The whole idea is that people will be acting out the movie as you watch. People will be shouting things at the screen, mostly innapropiate, and in certain scenes also throwing things. In the beggining wedding scene they throw rice against the wishes of the management.

In certain areas they just declare the movie to be boring and they start playing the Macarena so everybody stays entertained. It’s really the first time I had heard of any of this and I had a pretty good time.

My main complaint is that due to the nature of the stage show more than one person was showting things and you ended up unable to hear what was going on. Or you’d hear one half of the setup joke and then miss Tim Curry answer it with the punchline. Basically everything I am afraid will happen everytime I go to a theatre and I see small children. It seems like for a showing with as many ‘virgins’ as this one a little organization on who would do the shouting (and a loudspeaker) would have been great. I think everybody would have beneffitted and would have made the stage show even more ridiculous because not only would they be acting out the events but also participating with the movie.

At the end of the night, it certainly was fun. Will I come back next year? Most likely, if I do some due dilligence and learn some lines to heckle myself.

To learn more about the group that put together the show you can visit denverrockyhorror.com (They are looking for male cast members)

The angel of death gets tired of just killing by using normal means, starts considering his work to be art and begins crafting complicated, often non-sensical artistic death scenarios for all of his killings.

The Vision:

Think Final Destination meets Wile E. Coyote inside The Usual Suspects. It’s a comedy following the life of the investigator that is trying to put together why all the infrastructure in this city has started failing and where people are getting their rocket skates. Another investigator from the afterlife is trying to make sense of the sudden imbalance in the death books.

Tagline:

Art is a messy business

I remember when I went to see the original Final Destination I found it sort of entertaining. The plot of these movies is that a character can see a few seconds into the future and can therefore set himself up to cheat death. It also claims that no matter where death will find you. I don’t remember any of the actual deaths in the movie except for the last, um, falling billboard? scene. Which brings me back to this weeks unwatchable movie. The Final Destination.

Keeping with the tradition of naming your movie whatever the original movie was except by adding or removing ‘The’ or some other silly thing (Notorious for this is the The Fast & The Furious series). The Final Destination is the fourth installment of the series. The main argument I have against this film is in the trailer. The trailer takes us to a NASCAR race in a place where the main character can see the screws unscrewing from the fence and the cement cracking in the pillars that keep the place together. Theres a huge crash and because of his vision he saves all of his friends… except he didn’t because you can’t cheat death. Get it?

One of his friends dies immediately after they lave the stands because a wheel flew off a car in the wreck and lands on her. Another death seems to be a car falling on top of the person. The other is a lawnmower shooting a rock and other random explosions that are the staple of these films. Then we get into the ridiculous deaths. A short in a car wash causes the machines to go crazy, while this happens the car’s sunroof opens and then a pipe bursts. The car, which is apparently water-sealed, fills with water. The woman in the car cant lower the windows, or break them and ends up gasping for air through the sunroof only to be killed by the giant drying roller.

Then there’s also a malfunctioning escalator that apparently breaks into pieces and eats one of the characters…

Look, obviously they just wanted to come up with the most bizarre and funny deaths they could have come up with and that’s exactly what they did. These deaths are also augmented by the movie being in 3D. I am sure that the 3D part of the movie is going to be exaggerated in each and every one of these scenes and that appeals to the same public that watched Final Destination 3D (the last installment) but then again, those people already know who they are.

It just feels like there’s nothing new this movie has to add to the whole ‘you cant cheat death’ thing. I’d personally prefer going to see Inglorious Basterds again.

Prediction :

This movie will do o.k. in theaters because of its 3D-ness and because theres no other real thriller out there. I don’t know about it having much legs on video though, since the movie is obviously tailored towards the 3D experience. I’m sure they’ll have enough money to make a 5th one… which doesnt mean they should.

Actual Review:

(At the time of writing, Ebert has not written a review, and this is the only review in Rotten Tomatoes)

Whatever hints of originality lay in the series’ previous editions have been all but sucked out of this one. – Jordan Mintzer (Variety)

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Unwatchables - is a series of posts wherein I rant about movies I have not seen

Please, please, please, let me get what I want.That is the song that Tom plays as Summer walks by his desk trying to call her attention to him. I remember being young and playing a song to try and peak the interest of somebody as well. I fell in love with this movie since the second it started and Tom shows how completely head-over heels he is. If you wanted to know, the song I played was Semisonic’s Secret Smile.

Starting from the first minute of this movie the narrator tells us that this is not a love story. He is quite serious. This movie is about how no matter how great you think you are, or how much you try if the things are not right they are just not going to work out. Its such a cute, wonderful, quirky film that I can identify fully with just like “Away We Go”, which I talked about a few posts ago.

In fact this film has so much to say about friendships that it is quite unfair to call it a romantic comedy. The idea of unrequited love has been tackled by many this year. The biggest of these films was Hes Just Not That Into You which I felt was a complete cop-out. The two movies that dealt with friendships this year were “I Love You, Man” and “The Hangover” and neither of those really explored how friendships work (or dont, actually) between men and women. The exploration of how men relate to women, specially women who they are completely smitten by is worked so wonderfully in this film that you kind of have to laugh when you tell yourself ‘I would totally do that, I am such an idiot’.

Lets not say any differently though, Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt make such a great couple. I was jealous the whole way through.

The way I enjoyed this movie I have not enjoyed many, and how I mentioned that its genuinely funny? They don’t have any cheap laughs they’re all well placed and real.

Ive tried to say as much as I could without giving away much, maybe this makes this post seem quite silly, just know that I pre-reserved my copy of the Blu-Ray before I left the theater.

This movie will go next to my copy of “When Harry Met Sally” and “Say Anything” just in case I need to be reminded that all you need, is love.